If You Build It . . .
Radley Balko has a modest proposal for naming the planned stadiums in his two stomping grounds of Indianapolis and Washington DC. Excerpt:
First, for either city, a “Taxpayers’ Field” would jam a needed thumb in the eye of Big Sports, an industry that’s made a habit of blackmailing loyal hometown fans and public officials into lucrative tax breaks, new stadiums every half-dozen years, and sweetheart corporate welfare packages.
In Indianapolis, for example, the city will have to break its lease with the Colts to tear down the RCA Dome. Guess what? There’s a clause that says the city owes the team $48 million for breaking the lease! So not only do Indy residents have to foot the bill for a new stadium, they have to pay the Colts to tear down the old stadium so they can pay for the new stadium the Colts are demanding. Kafka couldn’t write this stuff.
You can’t really have two different high-profile venues with the same name, so I move that one of them be called “Corporate Welfare Park.” Possible names for future projects include
Incipient Cost Overrun Field
Eminent Domain Arena
Construction Industry Donor Bonanza Center
Reverse Robin Hood Stadium
We have surely not exhausted the list, as I invite readers to prove.
Comment by Scott Lemieux —
April 23, 2005 @ 10:15 am
Boeing Corporate Welfare Bum Field at Halliburton Yards
Comment by ash —
April 23, 2005 @ 10:38 am
Bottomline Subsidy Brickyards
Rich Man’s Vanity
Potlatch Sportatorium (”Better Living Through Wasting Money”)
Buyer’s Remorse Arena
Taxation Without Coaching Representation Stadium
Evidence Against Socialism Field
ash
Comment by ash —
April 23, 2005 @ 10:40 am
Hah. No Return/Refund Center
ash
Comment by John Emerson —
April 23, 2005 @ 11:23 am
jesse Ventura was a very mixed bag as governor, but his stadium policy in Minnesota was perfect, and he stated it with appropriate vigor and sarcasm.
Comment by matthew hogan —
April 23, 2005 @ 2:24 pm
Kickback Center
Wealth Transfer Arena
Public Funds Stadium [could be complete sentence too]
Comment by Michael —
April 23, 2005 @ 8:50 pm
The Grafterdome
Bamboozle Field
The Boondoggle Bowl
.
[Sadly, most of my impulses are not succinct]
New Fire Trucks Are For Pussies Stadium
“My Councilmember Went To Vegas And All I Got Was This Lousy” Stadium
Your Kid Will Graduate Here, Because We Didn’t Build More Schools Arena
Bread and Circvs Maximvs
Comment by Frank —
April 23, 2005 @ 11:52 pm
How about: These Corporate Bastards Need Killin’ Field?
Comment by matthew hogan —
April 24, 2005 @ 10:10 am
You Pay We Play Field;
Subsidy Center;
Public Trough Arena;
General Revenue Memorial Stadium;
Free Trade Memorial Arena;
Coercion Collosseum;
Comment by DonBoy —
April 25, 2005 @ 11:39 pm
This Stock’s About To Tank Stadium
Comment by Thomas Nephew —
April 26, 2005 @ 9:16 am
Anthony Williams Glorification Field