This sh!t is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
By Thoreau
Am I wrong for giggling when I see two creationist dudes raving about the way that a banana can fit in your mouth without squirting the contents? And saying that bananas’ suitability for a human mouth is proof that God designed it?
Hat tip to Kevin and Bean on KROQ
Comment by Hesiod —
December 6, 2007 @ 11:39 am
Ok. Then how do they explain watermelons?
Comment by Thoreau —
December 6, 2007 @ 11:48 am
They aren’t sexually attracted to watermelons, Hesiod.
Comment by Minivet —
December 6, 2007 @ 11:56 am
The timeless response.
Comment by mds —
December 6, 2007 @ 12:12 pm
Oh, my god. The way not-Kirk strokes the banana, thrusts it into his other hand, wiggles it… This guy is actually a mole for the Homosexual Conspiracy, right? And this is their subliminal training video.
Anyhoo, the last time the “creationist with banana” bit made the rounds, it was pointed out that:
(1) bananas fit in monkeys’ hands, too (as stated beneath the cartoon Minivet linked to), and,
(2) most other primates are smart enough to figure out that bananas are usually easier to open from the other end.
Comment by IOZ —
December 6, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
I’m gonna need some tissues.
Comment by Jennifer —
December 6, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
Does this mean cucumbers prove God is a lonely woman?
Comment by Mona —
December 6, 2007 @ 1:27 pm
As I always say when this sort of creationist flapdoodle arises, when they can explain the “intelligence” of the placement of the female urethra, I’ll start buying into the whole design thingie. Any woman who has had it with urinary tract infections knows exactly what I mean.
Comment by Thoreau —
December 6, 2007 @ 1:45 pm
Oh, that one’s easy, Mona. Four engineers were arguing over what type of engineer God is. First the electrical engineer pointed to the wiring of the brain and nervous system and observed that God absolutely must be an electrical engineer. Then the mechanical engineer observed the intricacy of the skeleton and muscles, and the pumping system of the heart, and observed that God must be a mechanical engineer. The chemical engineer, of course, objected, and said that the intricate chemical reactions in the body show that God must be a chemical engineer.
But the civil engineer said “No, you’re all wrong. Who but a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
Comment by mrk —
December 6, 2007 @ 1:45 pm
Methinks they doth explain too much.
Comment by Jon H —
December 6, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
“As I always say when this sort of creationist flapdoodle arises, when they can explain the “intelligence†of the placement of the female urethra, I’ll start buying into the whole design thingie. Any woman who has had it with urinary tract infections knows exactly what I mean.”
I’ll see your uti (uh, so to speak) and raise you an enlarged prostate.
Comment by cleek —
December 6, 2007 @ 2:57 pm
it’s even funnier when you look at a wild banana. you know, the kind of banana that can reproduce without human help, since all of the edible varieties are sterile, seedless hybrids.
Comment by sglover —
December 6, 2007 @ 3:09 pm
I thought God designed bananas so that we’d have a way to lure monkeys into doing hilarious and/or adorable stunts. People eat them?
Comment by cleek —
December 6, 2007 @ 3:14 pm
arg.
s/can/can’t/
Comment by mds —
December 6, 2007 @ 4:03 pm
Indeed we do. Delicious, delicious monkeys.
So… bananas really are a product of intelligent design? Don’t tell Kirk Cameron.
Comment by KipEsquire —
December 6, 2007 @ 5:39 pm
1. Coconuts, pineapples, walnuts.
2. The modern banana is a classic example of agricultural selective breeding. Prmodern bananas were closer to plantains — very blech. So yes, bananas were indeed intelligently designed — by humans!
Comment by Mona —
December 6, 2007 @ 8:47 pm
LOL! I have to remember that one, T.
Comment by Mr. Obscura —
December 6, 2007 @ 9:02 pm
With all due respect to the esteemed Dr.T, that joke was well known at a small midwestern engineering school 25 years ago. But it hasn’t ever cracked the mainstream, remaining as “engineer humor” ever since.
Another example: The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Thanks. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your server.
Comment by chris y —
December 7, 2007 @ 3:44 am
Voltaire was on this in 1759:
“It is demonstrable,” said he, “that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for as all things have been created for some end, they must necessarily be created for the best end. Observe, for instance, the nose is formed for spectacles, therefore we wear spectacles. The legs are visibly designed for stockings, accordingly we wear stockings. Stones were made to be hewn and to construct castles, therefore My Lord has a magnificent castle; for the greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Swine were intended to be eaten, therefore we eat pork all the year round: and they, who assert that everything is right, do not express themselves correctly; they should say that everything is best.” (Candide)
These eedjits can’t even be original.
Comment by BigHank53 —
December 7, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
I wanna seem ‘em try a durian fruit.
Comment by Bananaphone —
December 7, 2007 @ 2:07 pm
If that’s the case, then pineapples are proof that God is still pissed about the whole crucifying-his-son thing.
And cucumbers were designed by Satan to tempt our pure, bored housewives.