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April 27, 2008

That’s at least a 3rd level mage spell!

By Thoreau

It has been said that any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic.  Well, scientists are now developing a way to summon lightning bolts with lasers.  I SO TOTALLY WANTS ME ONE OF THESE!

To all my enemies:  Fear scientific progress.  Fear it greatly.  And get yourself a Cloak of Protection +3 or better before Thoreau the Archmage pays you a visit.  Thoreau the Archmage will be so terrifying that even the inherent 4th branch powers of Vice President Thoreau will pale by comparison.

I suggest that you welcome your new physicist overlords.

Posted by Thoreau @ 7:15 pm, Filed under: Main

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5 Responses to “That’s at least a 3rd level mage spell!”

  1. Comment by Bruce Baugh —
    April 27, 2008 @ 7:32 pm

    You made my mother laugh. :) We were chatting just now via voice in iChat, and I was idly opening links to read when we signed off. The title caught my eye, I read the rest, and laughed out loud. Then I read it to her and she laughed too. Good work!

  2. Comment by Soullite —
    April 27, 2008 @ 9:40 pm

    Yeah… just like the planes with laser beams in their nose cones they told us they were building ten years ago…

    And the warp drive engine they said they could build 5 years ago…

    And the invisibility cloaks they claimed they could build last year…

    I’ll believe this when I actually see it.

  3. Comment by Gamemastering Lunatic —
    April 27, 2008 @ 11:27 pm

    Sorry, no. It’s clearly a 3rd level priest spell. From the 2nd edtition Player’s Handbook

    Call Lightning
    (Alteration)

    Sphere: Weather
    Range: 360 yds.
    Components: V, S
    Duration: 1 turn/level
    Casting Time: 1 turn
    Area of Effect: 10-ft. radius
    Saving Throw: ½
    When a call lightning spell is cast, there must be a storm of some sort in the area–a rain shower, clouds and wind, hot and cloudy conditions, or even a tornado (including a whirlwind formed by a djinn or air elemental of 7 Hit Dice or more). The caster is then able to call down bolts of lightning. The caster can call down one bolt per turn. The caster need not call a bolt of lightning immediately–other actions, even spellcasting, can be performed; however, the caster must remain stationary and concentrate for a full round each time a bolt is called. The spell has a duration of one turn per caster level. Each bolt causes 2d8 points of electrical damage, plus an additional 1d8 points for each of the caster’s experience levels. Thus, a 4th-level caster calls down a 6d8 bolt (2d8+4d8).

    The bolt of lightning flashes down in a vertical stroke at whatever distance the spellcaster decides, up to 360 yards away. Any creature within a 10-foot radius of the path or the point where the lightning strikes suffers full damage unless a successful saving throw vs. spell is rolled, in which case only one-half damage is taken.

    Because it requires a storm overhead, this spell can only be used outdoors. It does not function under ground or under water.

  4. Comment by Thoreau —
    April 28, 2008 @ 12:15 am

    Soullite-

    The plane is really the long term goal. The more immediate goal is a laser beam in the forehead of a shark.

  5. Comment by bago —
    May 1, 2008 @ 4:54 am

    Is this where they use the laser pulse to create a channel of ionized air more conductive and likely to lead bolts down such a channel?

    And seriously, Invisibility cloaks: I’ll believe them when I see them? Epic Fail.

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