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May 5, 2008

Lunch room monitor: “No more than 3oz of soup for you!”

By Thoreau

Delaware is opening the very first charter high school devoted to preparing students for careers in Fatherland Security.  Yeah, good luck getting kids to attend a school where you can’t bring soda or other liquids into the lunch room.

OTOH, the curricular option in “professional demolition” should be useful for the FBI’s efforts to grow their own terrorists.  Obtaining terrorists on the black market is hard, and the homegrown hydroponic version requires water (no go at the checkpoints) so this high school is the logical next step.

Posted by Thoreau @ 12:11 am, Filed under: Main

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6 Responses to “Lunch room monitor: “No more than 3oz of soup for you!””

  1. Comment by Happy Jack —
    May 5, 2008 @ 12:43 am

    I wonder if the kids in the prison guard program get to study abroad at a black site in Uzbekistan.

  2. Comment by Curmudgeon —
    May 5, 2008 @ 1:44 am

    I give it less than six months until one of the kids in this program is deemed a security threat because their attendance in the program is considered evidence of an intent to learn anti-terrorism methods for the purposes of evading DHS observation.

  3. Comment by Just a Quick Question —
    May 5, 2008 @ 2:33 am

    When you mentioned that youe were going to mix the Nazi stuff and the commie stuff
    here     did you mean that you’d do it in separate posts? I mean, is this your hat tip to historical accuracy by not ridculing the authoritarians with both the Societs and the stormtroopers at the same time?

  4. Comment by Blanning —
    May 5, 2008 @ 4:13 am

    From TFA:

    Curriculum choices for students, who are to be called Cadets, range from SWAT (Special Weapons and Tactics) through prison guard, water rescue, paramedic, fireman, professional demolition and emergency response operator, according to a Board statement.

    Sounds really authoritcommienazirepressiontarian. To my untrained eye it looks like an inner-city charter school trying to get some scratch by playing up the public safety angle. But thanks for looking out for us.

  5. Comment by Jennifer —
    May 5, 2008 @ 10:00 am

    If you’re going to get a bunch of at-risk kids and try to train them in habits of unquestioning authority to the state, orphans are usually your best bet, but because America has a shortage of them we’ll make do with inner-city kids instead.

  6. Comment by HSVTSO Dean —
    May 5, 2008 @ 11:31 am

    Obtaining terrorists on the black market is hard, and the homegrown hydroponic version requires water (no go at the checkpoints) so this high school is the logical next step.

    I confess a sort of guilty pleasure in admiring your wit. :)

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