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September 25, 2008

Poetry for Palin II

"Our next-door neighbors are foreign countries" should be a line in someone’s shitty contemporary poem.

Posted by Jim Henley @ 8:27 pm, Filed under: Main

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17 Responses to “Poetry for Palin II”

  1. Comment by Jennifer —
    September 25, 2008 @ 8:48 pm

    Our next-door neighbors are from foreign countries
    Where they eat weird foods like snails and golompkes
    Sell gas by the liter instead of the gallon
    But they still make more sense than Sarah Palin.

    Poetry doesn’t get much shittier than that.

  2. Comment by Jim Henley —
    September 25, 2008 @ 8:58 pm

    FAIL! You inserted a spurious “from!” Go back to poetry school, amateur.

  3. Comment by steve —
    September 25, 2008 @ 9:16 pm

    Hm. It doesn’t quite work with the scansion of “Mending Wall.”

  4. Comment by Jennifer —
    September 25, 2008 @ 9:41 pm

    Kim Jong Il is totally a dick
    with his tortures and murders and sneering
    but more polite than the guy whose blog
    you will find if you type in “highclearing.”

  5. Comment by Jim Henley —
    September 25, 2008 @ 9:54 pm

    Awesome!

  6. Comment by Thoreau —
    September 25, 2008 @ 10:09 pm

    Isn’t there some famous Bushism about “more and more of our trade coming from foreign countries” or something like that?

  7. Comment by bill —
    September 25, 2008 @ 11:34 pm

    Palin is no dummy, but its obvious that she hasn;t thought very much or very deeply about foreign policy and foreign countries. Why should she? Until now she hasn’t needed to do so.

    If she should find herself in the White House in the next few years, there will be lots of people to advise her that have already done that thinking.

    They’re the ones you should be worried about.

  8. Comment by buermann —
    September 26, 2008 @ 4:18 am

    I like how “gallon” rhymes with “Palin” if you say it like Sarah Palin.

  9. Comment by Iron Lungfish —
    September 26, 2008 @ 9:28 am

    Palin is no dummy

    Are we certain this is the case? Plenty of dumb people are successful politicians.

  10. Comment by I, Kahn O'Clast —
    September 26, 2008 @ 11:06 am

    Russia’s wet border
    so close to Alaskan shores
    Veep in the making

    ~~yeah yeah, I always devolve to haiku…. But seriously:

    Shallow, thick and dumb
    Bible and cross clutched in hands
    Woman is the Beast

    or

    Like, um you know ah
    I’m Ill from thinking of it
    Please ask about oil

  11. Comment by joe from Lowell —
    September 26, 2008 @ 12:43 pm

    It just hit me:

    Sarah Palin is the Jesusland version of that call girl Eliot Spitzer was banging.

    A haiku:

    I’d be like, look dude,
    Do you really want the sex?
    You know what I mean?

  12. Comment by Davebo —
    September 26, 2008 @ 1:00 pm

    Apparently Miss Teen South Carolina couldn’t meet the age requirement.

  13. Comment by Nell —
    September 26, 2008 @ 1:13 pm

    Our next-door neighbors are foreign countries
    There in the state that I am the executive of
    It is from Alaska that we send those out
    To make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation
    As Putin rears his head
    And comes into the air space.

  14. Comment by bartkid —
    September 26, 2008 @ 2:55 pm

    >”Our next-door neighbors are foreign countries” should be a line

    And all your best friends are people that you just met
    You can take ‘em or leave ‘em
    They’re sitting in this barroom
    I guess that beats the hell out of loneliness
    – Headstones, “Three Angels”, 1993

  15. Comment by joe from Lowell —
    September 26, 2008 @ 3:03 pm

    Nell wins. Well done.

  16. Comment by dhex —
    September 26, 2008 @ 3:40 pm

    palin’s accidental invocation of tristan tzara has the same ring as “a cookie is a sometimes food.”

    it is entirely possible she is a prose artist, yet unaware of this fact.

  17. Comment by Idi Amin's Last Meal —
    September 26, 2008 @ 6:18 pm

    SP: Our neighbours are foreign countries.

    Johnny Walnuts: My wife isn’t foreign, but sometimes she’s a c*nt.

    SP: Cool! Better than being a b*tch like that Hillary.

    JW: Or her ugly kid, Chelsea… We have so much in common, & now I have an idea: let’s be running mates.

    SP: Pinky-swear?

    JW: Pinky-swear.

    18. (Comments automatically closed after 21 days.)