The form of the destructor (cont.)
By Thoreau
Researchers have produced a transgenic monkey that glows. Ooh, scary! And the data in the paper comes from animal #666 (as numbered in their lab inventory).
If this evil monkey god wants to accompany me to the first committee meeting of the fall, he can feast on the dumbass who spent the whole meeting fighting to craft a proposal that’s guaranteed to be shot down at the higher levels. That will be my ritual sacrifice to Glowing Monkey God 666. Seriously, the guy was not the least bit perturbed to have crafted a proposal that cannot pass. In fact, after it became clear that it would be shot down, he told me that this shows just how evil the higher-ups are. Um, yeah, the higher-ups are evil, but (1) this isn’t the best example and (2) they aren’t nearly as evil as Glowing Monkey God 666 who will feast upon you!
Comment by Ken Shultz —
May 27, 2009 @ 8:20 pm
Wait a second! It isn’t Tuesday!
Comment by Thoreau —
May 27, 2009 @ 8:22 pm
tHE eVIL gLOWING mONKEY gOD WILL BRING DISCORD TO THE BLOGOSPHERE AND END THE TRADITION OF mONKEY tUESDAY!111!!!!1
Comment by Seward —
May 27, 2009 @ 10:35 pm
I got one better: http://gizmodo.com/5200465/happy-birthday-horrifying-japanese-child-bot-youre-two
Pay careful attention to what it does with it does its eyes and eyebrows.
Comment by ajay —
May 28, 2009 @ 11:14 am
NukeGenetically engineer them till they glow, then shoot them in the dark. Problem solved.Comment by Barry —
May 29, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
jeeez, thoreau, I keep tellin’ ya – if ur Evil Fizzix ballz aint big enough to vaporize that clown at a committee meeting with a rephased polarized tachyon beam (modify your deflector shields), then you should trade favors with a bio guy, and get some of your research
subjectsassistants converted to zombies, or killer flying glowing monkies, or something.Comment by Ken Shultz —
May 30, 2009 @ 10:10 pm
Dolphins with lasers strapped to their heads…
Isn’t that where biology and optical physics meet?
A genetic engineer might be able to make the dolphins glow too, but glow monkeys and such, that seems like more of a hedge than anything.
I mean, if you’re going to send dolphins or monkeys into combat, otherwise, you’d want ‘em to be invisible or have chameleon properties or something. When you make something to glow in the dark, you make it that way for targeting purposes, right? I mean, there’s probably a shock and awe factor, but I think it’s more of a “Hey, did you see that glow monkey?” kind of reaction rather than a deer caught in the headlights.