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January 20, 2010

Rejected Caper Plots

A band of sympathetic rogues uses stolen crystal meth to make black-market Sudafed for cold sufferers.

(Note to self: Rogers will probably not buy this one.)

Posted by Jim Henley @ 8:44 am, Filed under: Main

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13 Responses to “Rejected Caper Plots”

  1. Comment by CaseyL —
    January 20, 2010 @ 10:58 am

    This was the wrong thing for me to see on a morning when I have a head cold and the denatured “Sudafed” now available does absolutely nothing. I would totally go to those helpful li’l ol’ meth dealers :)

  2. Comment by Mr. Obscura —
    January 20, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

    When watching bad films, particularly films I thought would be good but aren’t, I frequently daydream about the lunchtime pitch meeting where the concept was sold. “It’s like Titanic, but instead of a ship its an alien planet, and everyone’s blue.”

    Disclaimer: I haven’t seen Avatar. Your mileage may vary

  3. Comment by Thoreau —
    January 20, 2010 @ 1:12 pm

    And they steal it by posing as a SWAT team and doing a no-knock raid.

  4. Comment by John Emerson —
    January 20, 2010 @ 1:21 pm

    “What’s the bird’s-eye lowdown on this caper?”

  5. Comment by mds —
    January 20, 2010 @ 4:01 pm

    And they steal it by posing as a SWAT team and doing a no-knock raid.

    Only to be ratted out by intrepid journalist Radley Balko, as long as they’re Democrats.

  6. Comment by Chemjobber —
    January 20, 2010 @ 5:09 pm

    There are a lot of out-of-work synthetic organic chemists out there — if you paid them enough, they might be willing to do it. It’s just a benzylic oxidation – I recommend ceric ammonium nitrate.

  7. Comment by ajay —
    January 21, 2010 @ 7:39 am

    Ep 2: the team run afoul of an unscrupulous gang of restaurant suppliers who have been cutting their shipments of baking soda with heroin.

  8. Comment by Jim Henley —
    January 21, 2010 @ 8:52 am

    ajay wins.

  9. Comment by mds —
    January 21, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

    Dammit, ajay, I was still struggling to come up with something about switching expensive coffee and Folgers. Enjoy your accursed well-earned victory.

  10. Comment by Thoreau —
    January 21, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

    Is a “caper plot” a dish with a salty Mediterranean ingredient?

  11. Comment by ajay —
    January 22, 2010 @ 7:05 am

    I should admit that I stole that idea from the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. “Goddammit, Fat Freddy! This “baking soda” is 90% heroin!”

    Ep. 3: a crooked pension fund manager tries to conceal the fact that, instead of taking his clients’ money, spending half on fast cars and good drugs and burying the other half in coffee jars, he’s been secretly investing it all in General Motors, Bank of America and Ford.

  12. Comment by ajay —
    January 22, 2010 @ 8:44 am

    Ep 4: the team find themselves helping out a Marine interrogator charged with dereliction of duty: instead of torturing prisoners at Bagram, he’s been giving them tea and cigarettes and winning their trust. The team save his career by persuading several detainees to testify that they really, really dislike tea.

  13. Comment by mds —
    January 22, 2010 @ 3:05 pm

    Ep 4:

    Sorry, ajay; you were doing so well up to this point. But it’s a wacky caper show, not a documentary.

    14. (Comments automatically closed after 21 days.)