Unwatchability is a crime
By Thoreau
So, world-class loser and Al Qaeda propagandist Adam Gadahn has been arrested. Now, I certainly don’t want much leniency for somebody who was hanging out with murderers and making propaganda videos for them. I’ve long believed that CIA spokesmen who make excuses for drone attacks on wedding parties should face consequences, so I likewise believe that Al Qaeda spokesmen should face consequences as well. Moreover, I once watched one of Gadahn’s videos and found it so unwatchable that it made Fox News look good by comparison. That alone is a crime worthy of punishment.
Now, I can think of 3 possible ways to deal with him:
1) If he happens to know the location of some very dangerous people, and he feels like handing them over, give him a pardon and cash reward. Some may object to giving cash rewards to members of Al Qaeda, but I like the idea of bad guys betraying each other, and a fool and his money are soon parted anyway, so it’s not like Gadahn will be able to do much harm with the cash.
2) Try him for treason. As I understand it, the US is accusing him of treason, there is a law on the books against treason, and we happen to have an entire branch of government that devotes itself to holding trials for people accused of violating federal law. Even better, they have an entire set of rules already written down for how to do this. We’re totally set for this.
3) But, let’s be honest. The dude is a loser. Al Qaeda has hardly been the apocalyptic threat they’re made out to be. If you hold him in a military brig and move him around under super-heavy security and wring your hands over how difficult it is to even hold a trial for him, you’re just feeding his whole super-villain fantasy. The truth is that the dude is a loser who makes really awful videos. Treat him like any other criminal, lock him in the county jail with the thieves and gang-bangers and let him sweat for a few months (don’t tell them who he is, lest they single him out, just treat him like any other criminal), and then sentence him to a lifetime of Getting A Real Job. I lay 10:1 odds that he’d freaking hate that.
My biggest fear is that after several years of making apologies for murder, he’d be hired by Fox News or the WaPo, in violation of the *Real Job* portion of his sentence.
Comment by Ten Bears —
March 7, 2010 @ 9:40 pm
Rarely (if ever) one to have anything good to say about Israel, here I’d suggest that in that it* is one of them, give it to Israel and let them deal with it. ‘Course, as ‘al Queda’ and Gadahn (Pearlmann) are nothing but CIA patsies, it’ll drop off the radar and we’ll never read about it when it walks.
*Yes, ‘it’, as in less than human, insufficiently evolved… an animal.
Comment by Chris Gerrib —
March 8, 2010 @ 12:02 pm
But, but, that means treating Al Qaida as “mere criminals!” /sarcasm off/
I agree completely. The problem is that certain groups have spent the last few years hyping Al Qaida. If Al Qaida is now composed of mere mortals, the folks doing the hyping will look (more) stupid.
Comment by Thomas L. Knapp —
March 8, 2010 @ 3:30 pm
“We’re totally set for this.”
Um, no. The legal definition of treason is clearly tied to war, so unless this is 1944 and the guy is working for Dai Nippon or the Third Reich, it’s just not applicable (Congress hasn’t declared war since 1941).
Comment by drkrick —
March 9, 2010 @ 9:26 am
We could call this the “David Horowitz option.” Proclaim, on the basis of your self-nominated superior wisdom, the need for a coerced fundamental change in society, realize you were completely wrong, execute a perfect ideological 180, then on the basis of your somehow continued confidence in superior wisdom, act as a propagandist for your former opponents.
Horowitz has the colleges covered, maybe Gadahn can be in charge of watching the religious institutions for perfidy.
Comment by Thoreau —
March 9, 2010 @ 3:04 pm
Thomas L. Knapp-
Well, if he is not guilty of violating the law on the books, we have a third branch of government with people who know how to interpret laws and determine innocence as well as guilt. Sometimes they even dismiss charges or return verdicts of “not guilty.” I’m confident that they can do this.